Common Phrases

"How was your weekend?" is used like "How are you?" on Mondays. I know, you are probably thinking that it is the same in the US. But it's different. I end up telling how my weekend was -- like last weekend I went to a concert with 9ice, D'Banj, and P-Square, 3 of the hottest Nigerian artists right now. Some of you might remember Yomi and I entering our wedding tent to a song by 9ice. Anyway, no one else EVER goes into it - the correct answer is "Fine." In fact, I think most people are not interested when I actually tell them how my weekend was.

Here's 9ice performing Gongo Aso. Probably one of the hottest songs in Nigeria right now. We walked into our wedding to it.

"Well done" is another one. I just finished having a conversation where I asked an assistant to send some papers to our boss so that he could sign them (and approve the purchase of my car!). He ended the conversation with "Well done."

and for those of you who keep asking, we were able to get the spare keys for the car a couple days later. and nothing happened to the car, so we think our driver is somewhat honest. and the fire was not at the school, it was a couple miles away. perhaps you heard reports of a fire on the news - from a steam burst or something? this might be the same fire.

A different set of considerations

Our driver lost the keys to the car the other day. He was driving Yomi who was all the way on the island, which could be a 2-4 hour commute back to our temp housing. I was just wondering how we would get him home. Normally, you might think to find the spares or get the dealership to make another set - end of story. Well here, my colleagues first reaction was that we needed to hold it over the driver's head. File a police report, dock his pay, threaten him to spend the night in jail. Because there is such a mistrust of workers, and likely based off experience, that the immediate thought is "did he really lose them?" So if anything happens, then he needs to be held responsible.

And then just now, a colleague heard that her daughter's school was on fire. She couldn't get through the phone lines. So I told her she should just drive to the school and I would continue calling in the meantime. But another colleague said "no, you should not go." That road is apparently notorious for traffic jams, and especially if there is a fire, the chaos would make it more jammed...which is a big safety hazard because wicked people will then take advantage of that opportunity and come rob everyone.

There is certainly a different set of considerations here and I clearly will need to think differently in this environment.

Random Musings

They don’t know what broccoli is here! I went to lunch the other day to Chopstix. At first, I was hesitant – Chinese food in Nigeria? No way. But actually, it was pretty good. So one of the dishes had broccoli in it – my co-worker was like, “What’s that?” “Broccoli? Never heard of it.” Then I thought about it, and have never seen any broccoli in Nigeria. I told them it was like someone saying “Plaintains? What are those?” Who knew that Broccoli is a US food?

There’s a song here that sings “I’m a Bachelor.” For the longest time, I thought they were saying “I’m about your love” and totally lost the meaning of the song. So even though they speak English here, you can get the sense of how big language barriers are. And the other day, this woman said “I was so pressed.” I thought she meant she was in a hurry, but really she mean she had to pee.

Let me tell you how annoying the electricity is here. The electricity is probably on for an hour a day. But at 15 minute intervals. The rest of the time you are on your own generator if you are lucky enough to have one. And generators are expensive to run, so sometimes only some of your appliances are hooked up to it. And then, even if the electricity is on, but the current is low, some of your appliances won’t work. Well, we are pretty lucky – here at the Guinness Guest House, everything is on generators. So the minute electricity, or NEPA as they call it, is taken, then the security guards go turn on the generators. But the TV goes out and takes about 5 minutes for the satellite dish to rescan. And it always goes out right at a crucial moment during a show. At work, the air conditioning beeps every time the electricity goes on and off. So I will be on a conference call with a very annoying beeping. And then I have to get up to go turn the air conditioning back on because it turns off every time the electricity goes out. Which is of coarse, all the time.

Finally, the cost of things are so so expensive here. 1 bag of 100 small cotton balls = $5. In the US maybe it is $1. 1 bottle of Vaseline Lotion = $12. 1 small box of Special K with Red Berries = $12. Geez.

What Americans think of Africa and Vice Versa

security detail

Today for work, I went on some sales calls - visiting bars and clubs. While riding with one of the sales guys the following conversation occurs...
Him: What do people think of Africa?
Me: The people who don't know think that there are lions and giraffes walking around.
Him: (laughter) That's not true.
Me: The people who somewhat know, mainly know about South Africa, or Morocco, or Egypt - the more touristy places. They don't really know about what it is like in places like Nigeria - they don't know about the armed robbers.
Him: You mean there aren't armed robbers in America?
Me: Not really. There are in some places, but it is not a part of my life.
Him: Wow!