Week 31

Week 31. Right before we left Nigeria. I got my hair cut.

It is so clean and efficient here

We're in Texas now!
It was a long long flight. One that we almost didn't make had it not been for our house guest Michelle who woke us up. I stayed up until 3am packing, and in my sleep deprived stupor thought that we would be OK just relying on Yomi's alarm clock - which was wrong. Anyway, we got to the airport just fine, and flew direct from Lagos to Atlanta. A 12 hour flight. On Delta...which doesn't have individual TVs, or much food. And we had some rambunctious little girls banging on the backs of our seats, preparing us for parenthood. So by the end of it, I hadn't slept much and I was hungry.

Then, our connection in Atlanta was too short. So we missed our flight to Austin, along with a 2-3 hour line of other travellers waiting to get rebooked. We thought the next flight was the next day, and for various other reasons, we waited in the long line. By the time we made it to the agent, he told us to recheck our bags, then hurry to the next gate to try for standy by to get to Austin that night. Still no food. And even more tired at this point. Anyway, we made it, though our bags didn't. Now we are in Austin - after a good long night of rest.

They tell pregnant people that everything gets bigger, including your feet and your shoe size. Well, my ankles got pretty swollen on the flight. It is the weirdest thing to see your ankles so big. And they are still that way today. Never went back down.

We went to Kerbey Lane for breakfast. It was delish. And so cheap. Amazingly, Yomi and I ate, plus got some takeaway for mom who stayed behind to sleep more -- all for less than $20. That same meal would be at least $80 in Lagos. Then, we stopped off to grab lunch quickly. There were so many delicious choices -- bagels, Boston Market, Schlotskys -- I couldn't make up my mind. I'm very excited about the food options now that I am in Texas. I realized that by the time I leave, I can eat all of them. Yay.

The snails are really big here

I'll be in Texas in 1 week to wait for baby to arrive!!

Will the Capri Sun Brand Manager please report to Nigeria?

Jen, this is for you!

29-22 weeks

Week 29

Its getting close! Only about a month left here in Nigeria, then I go back to Austin to wait for baby to arrive. She's not due until Feb 16, but due to airline travel restrictions, when I go home for Xmas, I'll stay there. I had two dreams that I can remember this weekend -- the first one was that I was in a mall and there was a bookstore on the floor above me, and one below me. I had a whole selection of books to choose from. The 2nd one was that I was in a Texas grocery store and I shopped down every aisle. That's it. Those were my dreams. I dreamt that I had a selection of anything I wanted.

Week 26

Week 22

Its amazing how much one can grow in a week. My belly has ballooned and now I am obviously pregnant. I guess your first pregnancy, it can take a little longer to show since your body isn't so elastic yet. I haven't gained that much weight yet-- which somehow has allowed me to eat as much chocolate as I want. Which worries me a little bit because I am sure it will catch up with me and she could get big big big fast fast fast, especially when I get back to the US and indulge in the foods I've been deprived of. That's in 2 months! Soon. Anyway, if I don't start showing a little self control around chocolate, it could be the beginning of a difficult delivery.

She's starting to kick now.

How was your weekend?

Some of you ask what I do here on the weekends, so thought I'd give you a snapshot.

First of all, Saturday was one of those random "holidays." There were local elections, and when that happens, there's a law or maybe just a strong recommendation that everyone stay off the roads from 7am until 4pm. So we spent the day inside watching "The Wire." Everyday, we watch a couple episodes from our favorite TV episodes -- just finished watching all 5 bootleg seasons of The Shield, and now we're on to The Wire. We got so far on Saturday, though, that tonight when I get home, it'll be time for the Season 5 Finale. What will we watch after we're done?

Anyway, then on Sunday, we drove to the Mainland to see Yomi's mom and 2 sisters that live here. They don't have speed limits here. Not one sign that shows a speed limit. I think there are several reasons for that - 1) the police don't need a speed sign as a reason to stop you, they can stop you whenever for whatever and they do, 2) there's no reason to abide by a speed limit because there's no recourse if you get a ticket and don't pay it – half the people don’t have addresses, so where will they send the bill? So we go see Yomi’s mom, then each of his sisters. Each sister has 3 kids – lots of kiddies running around. The youngest one, Ayominkun, goes crazy when she sees me. This little girl has so much energy, and when I’m around, it peaks and she doesn’t know what to do with it. It bursts, and she literally runs in circles around the room, screaming, and throwing herself on the ground. It is so funny. So cute little girls says “Aunty Tricia is so delicious. I want to eat her up.” :)

So that’s it. That’s how weekends go around here. Oh, and we fired our cook. He wasn’t doing his job well and he had a bad attitude and didn’t want to work on it, so its back to cooking for ourselves until we find a replacement. So I cooked some on Sunday, too. I made Nigerian sweet and sour pork spareribs. A Nigerian pork sparerib is kind of like Nigerian Apple Pie, referenced below. I make do with whatever ingredients I can find. So instead of sweet and sour spareribs, we had sweet and sour pork chops.


This is us on another weekend...you can start to see my belly showing.....at Yemi's brother's wedding....that's what they do here - Saturday's are for weddings and birthday parties, and Sundays are for visiting family....

Long Weekend

We just had a 5 day weekend. It was fantastic. Federal holidays to celebrate Eid-el-Fitri Festival and Independence Day. We went to the beach, we went to some parties, we watched a lot of The Shield, I hemmed my maternity pants, and we had a little get together. I made my first Nigerian Apple Pie and it was delish. Nigerian Apple Pie is much like American Apple Pie, but the shortening for the crust is substituted with butter since I don't know where to get shortening. The apples are from Nigeria and smaller. And the brown sugar is not necessarily light brown sugar, instead it is the only variety of brown sugar I could find. And there was no vanilla ice cream. Only Cookies and Cream. Oh, and the ice cream was $20. Not even for a large gallon, but a little medium sized box. But it was so worth it. Yum Yum.

Then, this morning, I had to finally return to work. The bridge has been closed from the island (home) to the mainland (work). So I've had to take a detour for the last 2 months - that means long long commutes home. Last Friday, it took me 3.5 hours to get home. In any case, the bridge work is finally complete - on time, which is amazing that they delivered in the timeframe they said they would. So the commute should go back to normal. Yay. On the way to work, I saw an okada driver (motorcycle taxi) get into an accident. It was right in front of my house on the main road -- okada drivers are notoriously reckless. This one plowed right into a goat that was crossing the street. Poor dumb goat.

EDD: Feb 16

This is at 9 weeks -- not showing yet.

And then at 16 weeks -- just starting to gain weight.

And finally, at 20 weeks -- today. Half way there - due Feb 16. Gained about a pound a week within the last month. Really starting to show - you might think I'm expecting at this point, or a little chunky in the tummy.

Shoes

My cousin Justin is in Thailand right now and her blog goes into what life is like for a foreigner there. Of coarse, she kind of looks Thai, whereas I don’t really look Nigerian. Anyway, she has this story about shoes – link on the right – how they even take off their shoes in the workplace. I find the shoe thing very entertaining. Now, growing up as a Taiwanese, I always take my shoes off when entering the house. In fact, it’s one of those things that Yomi and I had to get used to when we got married – he has to take off his shoes when he is home, and I have to make the bed every morning. Well, not me specifically, but we’re both responsible for making sure the bed is made. Anyway, here in Nigeria, it is the exact opposite, shoes all the time, everywhere.

I was going through the airport, and it surprised me when I had to remove my shoes. I think the lady in front of me pitched a fit because she was wearing boots, so she just made a fuss and walked through with her shoes on. But silly me, I went ahead and did what the security officers told me to do. Because I am used to obeying the law. But you don’t really do that here – like if a policeman tries to stop you, you should probably just keep going. Or if someone who looks like they have authority tells you to do something, only do it if it actually makes sense. Anyway, I took my shoes off, and its like they haven’t cleaned the floors in years. My white socks turned grey after taking the 5 steps through the security machine.

Oh! And we got a cook/steward finally. Thanks Titi for the hookup. So my food worries are over -- its quite wonderful. I come home, and there's food. We have dirty clothes, and they are folded and ironed by the time we get home. We joke that it is like a magic trick - throw clothes in the hamper and they magically reappear clean, ironed, and folded!

When it Rains it Pours

It rains really hard here. I think there are just 2 seasons – rainy season and dry season (and it is always hot). When it rains, the streets get so flooded that you’ll drive through water that goes half way up your car – poor drainage. In fact, here’s a picture to help you visualize. This poor car (on the right) is trying to get through the water, but it must have gotten flooded and stopped working in the middle of the road shortly after this shot was taken.

This woman asked me the other day “Do you feel pressed? Can you make it shower?” She was really asking “Do you have to pee?”

Storing Food is Difficult

UGH. I usually bring to work something to eat for breakfast – today, it was a ziplock baggy full of cereal. I ate it all. And then I looked down at the bag when there was only a tiny bit left – and there were all these little insects crawling through my cereal. Ewww. I’m sure I ate them. I told a colleague this and we think they were weevils (they look like little ants almost), in which case, she said it wasn’t as bad because when she was little in boarding school, they had them all the time in the food and they just told them to go ahead and eat them, there are too many to get out and they’re nutritious anyway. YUCK.

Apparently, when wheats/grains/rice get too warm, the bacteria that is naturally found on them makes it so that the little bugs can hatch. Or so someone tells me. Well, our kitchen is always warm because of the weather here and there's no A/C in that room. So am I always going to have this weevil problem? My other theory is that when something is opened, then a bug can easily get in and multiply. So keeping things air tight will keep the bugs away. I hope.

This all came on the heels of our deep freezer breaking down. Not sure if it was an electrical outlet that stopped working (which happens all the time), or if the change in electricity surges caused the freezer to go, or if the freezer (which is new) just stopped working. In any case, there was a lot of meat in there, cheese, and all sorts of food that gets really stinky once it is not frozen and goes bad. It was the most putrid smell that permeated our house all night. I couldn't even stay in the kitchen to throw out the food - after about 1 minute, I felt like vomitting. Luckily, our security guy threw it all out and cleaned out the freezer - don't know how he was able to stand it.

Our House

Dondi, these are for you - upon request. So that you can see a couple images of our house....

Here is a picture of our bedroom. See our pictures on the wall? Tim took those in Central Park for our engagement/wedding pics. See the bars on the window? All the houses here have them. You get used to it. And it makes you feel safer.

And here is our dining room. We got the furniture off Craigslist while still in New York and shipped it over with the rest of our stuff. Love Craigslist. We stocked up. Yet still need more furniture. Anyway, its so nice to have a dining room finally. But we never use it. Except for getting water. See the water cooler? Every house has a water cooler. We don't drink the tap. In fact, I hate the way our tap water smells. Very bleachy. But at least it is clear. And has good water pressure - just like in the US! Very rare in Nigeria.

And here is our study. Both Yomi's desk and my desk are in here. We also stocked up at Ikea before we left the US - his desk is from there. And I made those curtains.

And this is where you (not just Dondi, but anyone who is reading this) will stay when you come to visit us. Our guest room. Yay! We have room for guests! You no longer have to camp out in our little 2 room New York apartment on our couches. I know it is not that exciting a room, but our bed is probably going to go in there soon. Yomi keeps complaining about how small our bed is -- no complaints before, but now that our bed is perfectly dressed, it's too small. In fact, he fell off the bed the other night in his sleep.

And here is a virtual tour of our downstairs, when you enter, there is a living room on the left and one on the right which is empty right now because, like I said, we don't have enough furniture. And through the living room is the dining room (pictured above). And another bedroom and kitchen and bathrooms in the back. And our water system and boy's quarters outside in the back courtyard.

Going Dutch Does Not Happen Here

You know when you go out to lunch with a bunch of your office colleagues, you end up just splitting the bill evenly? Well, I got myself into a little pickle the other day. I decided to go to Nando's (a chicken fast food joint) for lunch and asked if anyone wanted to go as well. A couple people said yes, plus we picked up someone in the hallways. When we get there, everyone orders, and then it becomes clear that I was expected to pay. Well, the other thing about Nigeria is that it is a cash society. So I am always running out of money. Plus, everything is so expensive here - yes, even in that fast food joint you can't get out of spending less than $10 on a meal. Uh, awkard, I didn't have enough to cover everyone - I had no idea that I was expeced to pay! Luckily, one of the guys came to my rescue and took care of it, but it was still one person taking care of everyone - and it wasn't like people were reaching for their wallets. In the end, I gave him what I had and then tried to give him the balance the next day, but he wouldn't take it, because he wanted to share in the rewards of giving. Yomi said later that was one of the things he had to learn when he moved to America -- he'd be in college, someone would invite him to their dorm room for pizza, and then expect him to chip in! He was shocked!

Go Slow

You always hear about the traffic in Lagos. It can take you hours to get through what should take 5 minutes, not exaggerating, because the traffic is so bad. That's what they call Go Slow here. So here's a picture - this is the bridge I take every day from the island to the mainland to get to work. The road is free in this picture, but you can see that the guy is driving down the middle of the road, the van is packed with people, and there are people hanging out of the car. This is a common sight, so thought I'd share.

Sex in the City

Many of you might be wondering what life is like on the island. This weekend, our stuff arrived, so we unpacked a lot of boxes. We had a handy man who was hanging all of our curtain rods and other various things, but he was not so smart, so we fired him. Poor guy. But that's what happens when you do a bad job. We thought we would be self sufficient and hang things ourselves. It took Yomi at least one hour to hang 4 pictures, and about 100 bent nails and a lot of ugly holes in the wall. The walls are all concrete, so we realized that we actually do need help with basic stuff that we would do ourselves in New York. Especially when even the pros are trying to mount our TV and chunks of concrete are coming off the wall where they try to screw things in.

We also had some really good food. There's this Lebanese restaurant that has really tasty hummus and really tasty falafel. And there's a brunch place where the family came to meet us to celebrate Yomi's BDay on Sunday. Oh, and we found a temporary cook which is helpful because I've lost about 15 pounds from not eating because I haven't really learned to eat Nigerian food yet. Its all too spicy. Or mysterious. Anyway, this temporary cook is apparently Kojo Annan's (Kofi's son), but since Kojo is always travelling, he is available for us for a tiny little bit. Yum yum.
Speaking of Yomi's birthday, we also went out on Friday night to celebrate with friends. Fun fun. The club is just like the ones in Philly/New York - small, cozy - but everyone loves to dance. Seriously, it's wonderful. Everyone loves dancing.

Finally, I went to see Sex in the City on Sunday. There are only 2 known movie theatres to me in Lagos, and they are both on the island. So Clari (thanks Clari) came and picked me up - her friend had made special arrangements to have drinks and small chops (appetizers) in this little roped off section. And this woman brought a photographer who was taking snapshots of all of us. So we go into the theatre, and apparently, the theatre decided to delay the movie by 1 hour to accomodate late arriving guests. Also, the last 3 rows were supposed to be roped off and reserved, but many people ignored the reservation and sat there anyway. Because the back 3 rows are the most desired. The management comes in and announces on a mic that everyone has to move out of the back 3 rows, that they should leave the theatre, that they are sorry for the inconvenience and would give us free tickets-- there was a near riot. Hecklers were shouting at the theatre staff telling them no way they were moving, this was not the way to run a business, the "special" people should not reserve seats in a public theatre, that they should go home, that it must be the white people in the front of the theatre causing a fuss. There was much drama. Turns out, those reserved seats were for us! Anyway, no one moved, everyone found seats even if they were less desirable (in the middle of the theatre), and the movie started 1 hour late.

Common Phrases

"How was your weekend?" is used like "How are you?" on Mondays. I know, you are probably thinking that it is the same in the US. But it's different. I end up telling how my weekend was -- like last weekend I went to a concert with 9ice, D'Banj, and P-Square, 3 of the hottest Nigerian artists right now. Some of you might remember Yomi and I entering our wedding tent to a song by 9ice. Anyway, no one else EVER goes into it - the correct answer is "Fine." In fact, I think most people are not interested when I actually tell them how my weekend was.

Here's 9ice performing Gongo Aso. Probably one of the hottest songs in Nigeria right now. We walked into our wedding to it.

"Well done" is another one. I just finished having a conversation where I asked an assistant to send some papers to our boss so that he could sign them (and approve the purchase of my car!). He ended the conversation with "Well done."

and for those of you who keep asking, we were able to get the spare keys for the car a couple days later. and nothing happened to the car, so we think our driver is somewhat honest. and the fire was not at the school, it was a couple miles away. perhaps you heard reports of a fire on the news - from a steam burst or something? this might be the same fire.

A different set of considerations

Our driver lost the keys to the car the other day. He was driving Yomi who was all the way on the island, which could be a 2-4 hour commute back to our temp housing. I was just wondering how we would get him home. Normally, you might think to find the spares or get the dealership to make another set - end of story. Well here, my colleagues first reaction was that we needed to hold it over the driver's head. File a police report, dock his pay, threaten him to spend the night in jail. Because there is such a mistrust of workers, and likely based off experience, that the immediate thought is "did he really lose them?" So if anything happens, then he needs to be held responsible.

And then just now, a colleague heard that her daughter's school was on fire. She couldn't get through the phone lines. So I told her she should just drive to the school and I would continue calling in the meantime. But another colleague said "no, you should not go." That road is apparently notorious for traffic jams, and especially if there is a fire, the chaos would make it more jammed...which is a big safety hazard because wicked people will then take advantage of that opportunity and come rob everyone.

There is certainly a different set of considerations here and I clearly will need to think differently in this environment.

Random Musings

They don’t know what broccoli is here! I went to lunch the other day to Chopstix. At first, I was hesitant – Chinese food in Nigeria? No way. But actually, it was pretty good. So one of the dishes had broccoli in it – my co-worker was like, “What’s that?” “Broccoli? Never heard of it.” Then I thought about it, and have never seen any broccoli in Nigeria. I told them it was like someone saying “Plaintains? What are those?” Who knew that Broccoli is a US food?

There’s a song here that sings “I’m a Bachelor.” For the longest time, I thought they were saying “I’m about your love” and totally lost the meaning of the song. So even though they speak English here, you can get the sense of how big language barriers are. And the other day, this woman said “I was so pressed.” I thought she meant she was in a hurry, but really she mean she had to pee.

Let me tell you how annoying the electricity is here. The electricity is probably on for an hour a day. But at 15 minute intervals. The rest of the time you are on your own generator if you are lucky enough to have one. And generators are expensive to run, so sometimes only some of your appliances are hooked up to it. And then, even if the electricity is on, but the current is low, some of your appliances won’t work. Well, we are pretty lucky – here at the Guinness Guest House, everything is on generators. So the minute electricity, or NEPA as they call it, is taken, then the security guards go turn on the generators. But the TV goes out and takes about 5 minutes for the satellite dish to rescan. And it always goes out right at a crucial moment during a show. At work, the air conditioning beeps every time the electricity goes on and off. So I will be on a conference call with a very annoying beeping. And then I have to get up to go turn the air conditioning back on because it turns off every time the electricity goes out. Which is of coarse, all the time.

Finally, the cost of things are so so expensive here. 1 bag of 100 small cotton balls = $5. In the US maybe it is $1. 1 bottle of Vaseline Lotion = $12. 1 small box of Special K with Red Berries = $12. Geez.

What Americans think of Africa and Vice Versa

security detail

Today for work, I went on some sales calls - visiting bars and clubs. While riding with one of the sales guys the following conversation occurs...
Him: What do people think of Africa?
Me: The people who don't know think that there are lions and giraffes walking around.
Him: (laughter) That's not true.
Me: The people who somewhat know, mainly know about South Africa, or Morocco, or Egypt - the more touristy places. They don't really know about what it is like in places like Nigeria - they don't know about the armed robbers.
Him: You mean there aren't armed robbers in America?
Me: Not really. There are in some places, but it is not a part of my life.
Him: Wow!

Observations

Saw my first Nigerian train. It was PACKED. I mean, there were people hanging off the doors, sitting on top of the cars. Scary. Kind of like the traffic here. It’s crazy packed with lots of people and cars on the road. Making 2 lanes into 4. Not paying attention to any of the rules. Making right turns from the left lane.

They don’t say numbers like “one thousand and five hundred.” It’s just “one five zero zero”

When they call you on the phone, they always say “Good Afternoon Patricia. My name is XYZ.” I might be the only person who says “Hi” when I meet someone. And I never say “my name is patricia” if I’ve already met someone.

There’s a big separation of classes here. It sounds like a pretty cush life here – always in a/c, with a driver, will have a cook. For any expat, these are somewhat of necessities – the heat is unbearable without a/c, the traffic is terrifying and undriveable without a driver, and we’ll need a cook to go to the market for us to buy food since I’m limited to going only to the 1 or 2 grocery stores that I know about.

Today’s Yoruba Lesson
Ekouche (eh coo shay) – well done
Ekaro – good morning
Ekasson – good afternoon

Oda aro – good night

The Wedding

Wedding was great. About 25 of our friends from the US arrived the day before, and it ended up being not only great to have them there not just for my wedding, but as kind of a welcome to my new home. First was church – it’s a very religious country in general. Phrases like “Thank God” and “By the grace of god” are a regular part of conversations here. Wonder if I will start going to church here – not sure if I will like it. I’m sure I would agree with the moral of the story, but I’m not so much into story telling. Just get to the point. Anyway, the reception was lovely. It was more than I could have ever wanted. Firstly, our wedding train enters before us– dancing to Timbaland’s “The Way I Are” and a popular Nigerian song “Gongo Aso.” The tent is decorated very nicely, with a hint of Asian parasols, Asian paper lanterns, a beautiful cake with cherry blossoms, and big jumbotrons so that our 500ish guests could see what was going on. The ceremony portion was efficient which was great for us – we didn’t want a long drawn out thing. There was the first dance (to Chris Brown’s “With You”), the cutting of the cake (where they spelled JESUS first), and then that tradition where I had to feed Yomi the cake from my knees. A bit submissive, and everyone could see what I thought of that as my the close up of my expression was plastered on the jumbotron. Yomi’s speech was very touching – addressing my mom very openly, so hopefully she feels a little better about what kind of man I chose, and addressing his family. And Tasha and Jen’s speeches. Glad I have such good friends. And Kolade and Leye’s speech. Rest of night was pretty much spent dancing. Even with all that heat. Boy was it hot. But somehow I managed to still want to dance through it. And I also managed to not have to go to the bathroom at the reception – which is very fortunate. I did not want to hit the porto potty with my big white pouffy dress. They also have a tradition here called “spraying.” They throw lots of dollar bills (or 100 Naira notes) at you on the dance floor. Even though it was banned (defamation of the Naira), they still found a way to spray us, which is actually kinda fun. Well, the whole night was fun. Then, we went to Ghana with some of our guests that came from the US. It was really nice to get to spend time with everyone since we didn’t get to much at the wedding, and since I won’t get to see everyone for quite some time.

Today’s Pidgin English Lesson:
Wahallah – Trouble
Hi ya Dey – How are you
We go wash am – Let’s celebrate

Ready, Set, Go

I'm moving to Nigeria next week. and although I am super excited to join Yomi and start this new chapter in our lives, I'll miss all my friends terribly! So here I've started this blog so that you guys can easily keep in touch and find out what I'm up to. I hope the internet connection is convenient enough to keep this thing up.

So we've been buying up a ton of stuff for our new home in Lagos. Renting an apartment is not like it is here....first, because there's no credit there, you have to put 2 years rent down up front. So we had to take a loan out to RENT! Then, the apartments don't come like they do in the states. We had to buy all our appliances - refrigerator, stove, even bathroom hardware -- towel bars, toilet roll holders, a generator since the electricity always goes out, and I think some drilling was involved to make sure we have a source of water. Our tiny little New York apartment which I will miss so much is a big mess.

Yesterday was my last day at Unilever so that this next week I'll spend getting personal affairs in order. For example, I got 3 months worth of malaria prevention pills today. After 3 months, I think I will stop ingesting the drugs and take my chances. It might make for some sick days, but hopefully my immune system will build itself up so that the symptoms hit me less and less. The pharmacist was actually Nigerian, and when he found out I was moving there, his demeanor changed to friendly. Somehow my prescription went from $137 to $5. OK, some of that was because the insurance didn't go through correctly, but I still think I would have paid a little more had it been someone else. And from what I can tell so far, his friendliness is example of what's to come!